I will never forget this day 7 years ago! I was in college going to GCC. I had stayed the night at a friends house (Tifany to be exact) and she came in and tried to wake up Stefany and I so we could make it to school on time. I remember her saying the US has been attacked the worst in history. Stef and I just rolled over and went back to sleep. Well we were in Mesa and we had to drive 45 min in the car to get to school. Stef and I were HUGE on music and NEVER went without it in the car. So we were flipping through EVERY freakin radio station and NOT ONE was playin music. We were soooo frustrated..... So I gave up. Then my sister called and asked me if I had heard and I was like um about what. And she told me and we immediately drove over to the Seuells (where she was nannying) just in time to see the first tower fall to the ground. My heart sunk. I had no idea what these towers were BUT as soon as I saw the site I saw I knew it wasn't good. For the next few weeks we were glued to the TV. I was in volleyball season at the time and the first game we had after that had happened I remember all of us tearing up when the National Anthem was played... The song never had more meaning to me than it did that night....
Now the song has more meaning to me more than ever. With my husband in Afghanistan, fighting the War on Terror, I can't help but be saddened today. I truly believe that today is one day in the year that America drops all its differences and comes together as a nation. To mourn for the lives lost. I miss my husband dearly. But I know that what he is doing over there is keeping you and I free! He has had some pretty intense experiences this deployment. He has had and seen more action this time then he did last time. He has lost people he cares about. It breaks my heart that I can't be there for him when times get tough for him. But I know he is safe. He had an experience this week that made me realize the Lord is on his side. He is being watched over and protected. Madi said her first prayer by herself the other night and it brought me to tears. When she says her prayers (when Im helping her) the first thing we always say is please keep daddy safe. Then we continue her prayer with other things of course... So her lil prayer went like this... "Heavenly Fadder daddy be safe. Name of Christ. Amen." My gosh. I lost it. Madison knows who her daddy is. Today she was in the tub and I had Jason on speaker phone and she screamed HI DADDY!! She knows his voice. And when I hung up with phone with Jason she said daddy at work mom? And I said yes baby. Then she said Why. And I said he is fighting for our country to be safe. And she said daddy be safe k mom. She keeps me going. She is the reason I know that I can make it through this trying time in my life. I know I get frustrated with her easily. But moments like these, make it so worth it. Its hard taking on every responsibility that you take for granted when you have your husband around. I have become every roll. Its a lot to take in. I have a HUGE support system that I am so thankful for. Living here in Utah so close to family has really saved me. I try so hard to be strong and at times I don't feel like I am going to make it and then I get a phone call, or email, or text, and sometimes even a hug saying everything is going to be alright. It takes a strong woman to be a military wife. I don't consider myself strong, but I fell in love with a Soldier. He stole my heart and I vowed to him to always be there for him. I'm not gonna lie, the last deployment took a HUGE toll on our marriage. But we are better than ever right now. We stay strong for each other. And when I see him in Jan and send him back to war again it will only be 2 months before I get to see him again! And what happens from there we don't know. Being a military wife you really do have to take it one day at a time. If you look forward to the future it all becomes too overwhelming...
I found this poem and thought I would share.....
The Military Wife
The good Lord was creating a model for military wives and was into his sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared. She said, “Lord, you seem to be having a lot of trouble with this one. What’s the matter with the standard model?” The Lord replied, “Have you seen the specs on this order? She has to be completely independent, posses the qualities of both father and mother, be a perfect hostess to four or forty with an hour’s notice, run on black coffee, handle every emergency imaginable without a manual, be able to carry on cheerfully, even if she’s pregnant and has the flu, and she must be willing to move 10 times in 17 years. And oh, yes, she must have six pairs of hands.”The angel shook her head. “Six pairs of hands? No way!” The Lord continued, “Don’t worry, we shall make other military wives to help her. And we will give her an unusually strong heart so it can swell with pride in her husband’s achievements, sustain the pain of separations, beat soundly when it’s over-worked and tired, and be large enough to say ‘I understand,’ when she does not, and say ‘I love you,’ regardless.”The angel circled the model of the military wife, looked at it closely and sighed, “It looks fine, but it’s too soft.” “She might look soft,” replied the Lord, “but she has the strength of a lion. You would not believe what she can endure.” Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the Lord’s creation. “There’s a leak,” she announced. “Something is wrong with the construction. I am not surprised that it has cracked. You are trying to put too much into this model.”The Lord appeared offended at the angel’s lack of confidence. What you see is not a leak,” he said. “It’s a tear.” “A tear? What is it there for?” asked the angel. The Lord replied, “It’s for joy, sadness, pain, disappointment, loneliness, pride and a dedication to all the values that she and her husband hold dear.” “You are a genius!” exclaimed the angel. The Lord looked puzzled and replied, “I didn’t put it there.”
Jason and I have been married almost 4 years and have moved 8 times. I am getting pretty dang good at it I must say. Sorry about the rambling but I have huge pride in this country and for what my husband is fighting for. I am so proud of him. I am so thankful for him. And I DEFINITELY CANNOT wait to see him again and jump in his arms and give him a big fat hug and kiss!!!
I MISS YOU BABE!!!
May we all take a moment today to thank those who have paid the Ultimate Sacrifice.
