BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD!!!!!!
Wow, I don't even know where to start with this post. I have been out of the blogging world lately and concentrating on my own life. I went to a place called Impact Training. My Aunt who I am living with started it in May and I have seen such a happiness about her I always asked her what the heck she did to be so happy. Well then I moved in with her and she introduced me to it and I went this last weekend. Let me tell you, Im not gonna lie it is BY FAR the HARDEST thing I have ever had to do in my life. But the reward that I feel right now is so AMAZING!!! I have come to realize that for the first time in my LIFE, I LOVE MYSELF! I realized that I had SOOO many walls built up around me from past experiences that I couldn't let go of. Those walls are down. I have learned to let my inner child come out. I found that little girl that was so scared to do so many things in her life. It has been amazing to see the difference in my relationship with Madison. I used to get stressed so easily and get so angry about a little spill or her not going to bed. I wasn't letting her be a kid. I came home from training one night and we were up dancing and playing and Madi heard us at 3am and came out. Normally I would send her right back, but I picked her up and started dancing with her. We had chocolate ice cream and chocolate milk at 330am!! She spilled Amber's (my cousin) coke on sunday and got it all over herself and all over the floor and I saw her look at me so scared and immediatly started tearing up and saying im sorry mom im sorry. And I started laughing. I was like honey its ok!! She stopped crying and looked at me and started laughing and said I spilled mom I help you clean it up! Seeing that I had already built walls around my 2 year old little girl made my heart drop.... We have little assingments if you will to do everyday. Today is bring out the inner child in you. So today I get to take Madi to a corn maze and get lost in the fun. We are going to carve pumpkins and sing our favorite songs. I cannot believe what a transformation I have had in just a few days. My eyes are opened. I am free. I am alive. And I feel amazing.....
As many of you know my husband is gone right now.... I am at peace with that. I know I can do this. I know I can be the best mom I can be. I know I can be the best wife I can be. I am living life to the fullest, and I CANNOT wait to see Jason again and have him see who I TRULY am. I learned that I could not truly love people until I loved myself. I am excited to put this in action!!! This is my new theme song!!! I listen to it and dance to it everyday!!!!
When you call for me
When i hear you breath
I got wints to fly
I feel that i'm alive
When you look at me
I can touch the sky
I know that i'm alive
When you blessed the day
I just drift away
All my world is right
I'm glad that i'm alive
You set my heart on fire
Filled me with love
Made me a woman
I'm glad you're back
I couldn't get much highter
My spirit takes flight
Because i'm alive
When you call on me
When I hear you breath
I get wings to fly
I feel that i'm alive
When you reach for me
Erases fear inside
Loves knows that
I'll be the one standing by
Throught good and throught tiring time
And it's only begun
I can't wait for the rest of my life
When you call for me
When you reach for me
I get wings to fly
When you blessed the day
I just drift away
All my world is dark
I know that i'm alive
I get wings to fly
God knows that i'm alive
6 comments:
I'm so glad you feel that way about yourself. We have been trying to tell you that for years, but I guess it just takes the right kind of message. I'm glad you reacted that way when Madi spilled the coke. After all, it's just spilled coke. A little girls feelings are so much more important. She is such a sweet girl and you are too. Glad to see the change. Hope it lasts a very long time.
Hey you wanna go to dinner or lunch or breakfast this weekend? Would love to see you :)
lol I just read what you had my name as and it made me LAUGH pretty hard FUNNY LADY!
That sounds wonderful heather!! Congrats to you! Don't ever feel like you're the only person who builds up walls. We all do it and we all need to bring out our inner child sometimes and just let loose! I've always loved you for who you are no matter what. I think driving on the "road" in Timmy would be a great way to let out our inner child!! HAHAHAHA! I love ya girl!
Heather--that is awesome that you are learning so much about yourself--I ahd to learn the hard way, and after about 3 years of counseling, I learned to love myself and relax and enjot life for what it was. Not many people know of the struggles I was going through, but I was pretty bad--and now my life is so good and life is fun. Never take it for granted---you are an awesome cousin and I enjoy talking to you and being around you!!!!! Love ya cuz!!!!
That's so awesome. Man how do I find about about this class? I think that would be good for everyone to take. Thanks for posting too, sometimes as mom's we do have short fuses and forget they are kids and accidents happen. But it's hard to defy that line between letting things go and really teaching them and having consequences. But that really makes me want to take the little things and cherish them. Love you and so glad to see how happy you are :)
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